In honor of this Sunday being my husband and I's first wedding anniversary I thought I would release a new post. This one is a little feisty... so seat belts everyone! We are taking a quick ride on the soap box express!
As soon as my darling husband Evan proposed in December of 2013, our relationship suddenly became a topic of interest. Everyone and their mother's brother wanted to give us "advice". Some was pleasant and endearing but unfortunately the bulk of these little conversations was blatantly negative. I was shocked by the world's view of marriage. People seemed to focus on the tragedies of marriage rather than the wholesome beauty of the commitment. Furthermore, even in to almost a year of marriage we are still hearing such life-draining advocacy for marriage being a dead end rather than a journey. It's exhausting. So without further adieu...
Here are 6 Sayings I'm Sick of Hearing from Married Couples
1. "Aww, you're just in the honeymoon stage."
I have heard this saying more times than I can bear in the past 12 months. Anytime Evan and I are being silly and sweet in public someone (mostly strangers) make this comment. We may be newlyweds but the honeymoon lasts as long as you let it. My pastor quoted this past Sunday in service "My wife and I have been married 24 years and we are still on our honeymoon."
This is how marriage should be. Don't let the fire die after the suitcases are unpacked! Keep adding kindling!
2. It's all downhill from here!"
Well the best part of the roller coaster is the drop... so I'm game!
3. "The old ball and chain"
I have heard this phrase several times in T.V. shows, movies, and by people who have been married for a while. I don't know how this quote became so popular but it's rather unpleasant. Marriage is not a cage but an open door! Adventure does not end after the "I do's", but begins!
4. "The first 6 months are the hardest." (or something to that equivalent).
A week before Evan and I got married a young married couple emphasized to us how hard the first six months were going to be and they "just wanted us to be prepared". As endearing as this is, the fact of the matter is that every relationship is different. Your struggles will not be the same as our struggles. Some couples told us the first year is the hardest, some said the first three years, others said the first three months. It's all different for everyone. More importantly though is how you A) prepare for marriage and B) how you invest in your marriage. Evan and I had a pretty strong base dating for 5 and 1/2 years before we married. We felt pretty confident going in, however there is always that learning curve. We went through some challenges in the beginning as many new couples do. Not anything threatening just normal growing up stuff, like learning how to make a budget for our home and learning each others particular style of doing laundry. I wouldn't consider this a hard season though. It was new, fun, interesting, and exciting.... because we had that positive perspective. We could have just as easily looked at these experiences and stamped them in our memories as difficult. It's all about how you look at it and how you react. I can happily say that our first year of marriage was a blast! I hope the same for others too.
5. "Don't you wish you had a guy like (insert fictional movie/book character)?"
The men and women in movies/books are NOT real and they DO NOT depict real life. Indulging in thoughts like these just creates an unrealistic standard that is unfair for us to hold our spouse to. I wouldn't want Evan to hold me to the standard of women on T.V. with their tiny waist, big chest, and flawless skin and hair. So why would I hold him to the standards of the men on these shows. Even reality shows are fake and must be interpreted as such. Let's keep things real. I really love my real husband with all his real flaws and real features.
6. "But the divorce rate is so high!"
Well frankly I would like the change that statistic. Evan and I made a promise to one another that we were going to stick it out till the end. The "D" word is not allowed in our marriage vocabulary. We don't even make it an option. If something in our marriage gets broken, we're not going to throw it out. We're going to fix it and make it better than it was before. I don't want to be another statistic. Marriage matters people! If other marriages fall apart around me, it will only encourage me to fortify mine.
The point of all of these ramblings is this: Don't speak negativity. Speak life. What you say can affect people. You have the power to uplift or to destroy. Let your words be an encouragement not a discouragement. Don't even allow yourself to poison someone else's thoughts due to your own bitterness.
Marriage matters! Monogamy is not unrealistic! Marriage rocks! Let's tell people so! Media portrays marriage as a joke. Let's change societies perceptive of marriage by encouraging each other not discouraging one another.
#marriagematters
