The Diagnosis of the Christian

a.

I really love crazy people. I love them so much that I have dedicated the better half of my young adult life slaving over APA style papers on Friday nights, skipping beach days to sit in stuffy monotnounous lectures, and  tossing buckets of money at universities all in order to gain an education in the field mental health counseling. One and a half degrees later... I'm getting there.
It's obtrusive into my social life, my family life, my sleeping life and all, but I do it for those future crazy people who may need me one day. That is... if I survive the next year or so.
I look forward to my career and eagerly anticipate wading in to these experiences through my practicums. But for now all I have is lots of books to study and people to observe and being an avid church goer you can imagine my range of interest.
Over the last several years, as I have dove into the the more applicable side of my degree, I have seen an alarming deficit of mental health in the world. It's heart breaking. And the worst part is that most of the people who suffer don't reach out for help until their burdens are so crushing that they can no longer stand. I see it time and time again. We wear our masks as long as we can until the cracks begin to show, we patch the cracks until they break off and leave deep cuts, then and only then do we stretch out our hands and seek rescue.
This is when the church comes in to affect. Many scoff and adamantly proclaim "The church is full of hypocrites!" Well yes, as they should be. The church is more than a place of worship. It is a hospital for the sick. People come to be healed. To be cured of brokenness. To be made well. What a lovely, lovely thing. However, like most hospitals, we as the church tend to hide the psychiatric wing. We close it off and deny ourselves the very care we need. Then comes burnout. Then comes physical ailments. Then comes even more mental discord. Why spiral around the circle? Why not tend to the symptoms before they spread? Let us be more open about the needs of the mind!
So in oder to spot the signs before they increase, let us highlight a few metaphorical disorders that Christians often deal with before hitting burn out.

1. The ADD Christian
Attention Deficit Disorder is a well know diagnosis. Everyone and their mother's brother's goldfish these days seems to have it. However those who truly are ADD know the significant woes of this disorder, including myself. However the Christian version looks like this:

Symptoms:

• Signs up for every church small group, bible study, and volunteering event, and most likely runs a few of these groups themselves.
• Has difficulty focusing on a project and which leads to incompletion. 
• Has a lot of vision but not enough time or ability. 

Solution:

• Say no.
• Delegate some responsibility to others.
• Cut some things off your schedule and limit yourself on what you take on.
• Reorganize your priorities with God as #1. If you're not making time for him, then everything else will go to pot. 

b.

2. The Anger Management Christian

Unfortunetly the spirit of offense is rampant in the church. I can't tell you how many times I have heard the phrase, "I don't go to church anymore because someone there offended me." Well welcome to the United States of America. It's not just the church full of offenders, it is this world, and anyone living in it is going to offend someone at some point in time. Christians however are held to a higher standard and are often dehumanized by their own kind. It is essential to recognize that we are all sinners and we are all at different levels as we try to be like Christ. So forgive one another and release that white knuckled grip of bitterness. 

Symptoms:

• Easily roused to anger.
• Quick to speak and quick to judge.
• Frequently holding a grudge.
• Often feeling offended. 

Solution:

• Seek out past bitterness and ask forgiveness.
• Forgive those who hurt you. 
• Seek the good in others. If you go looking for bad. I assure you that you will find it. 
• Pray for those who hurt you and pray for peace in your soul.
• Think before speaking. 

c.

3. The Multiple Personalities Christian

Though there has never been  a true recording of "split personalities" in psychological history there is a significant population of Christians who I would say show more than one face. 

Symptoms:

• Come to church with their best face on.
• Go to places outside the church with their true face on. 
• Have difficulty balancing both worlds.

Solution:

• You cannot blend the two, so choose one.
• Be honest with your self and others. 

d.

4. The Traumatized Christian

Unfortunately we live in a fallen world and many people, even good people, have experienced some terrible things. This can have a complicated effect on a person's future and influence their perceptions of others. Past traumas cause future fears. This is especially inclusive of the relationship between you and God. 

Symptoms:

• Does not trust others.
• Has difficulty developing intimate relationships. 
• Crippled by insecurities. 
• Fears future hurts that have yet to develop. 

Solution:

• Pray. Only God can heal the brokenhearted. 
• Seek out someone to mentor you and help you develop trust. 

e.

5. The Depressed Christian

Life can be overwhelming sometimes and wanting to give up on life is an easy relief. Many people choose this option in order to check out of the world's problems. However God can give us an unexplainable joy that does not fade and it begins with giving your life to Him. 

Symptoms:

• An overwhelming sense of hopelessness.
• Gives up on hobbies and passions.
• resorts to numbing the pain through different means. 
• Feels separated from others and God

Solution:

• Investigate origination of sadness. 
• Evaluate and remove unhealthy relationships from life. 
• Seek joy through Christ. 

f.

6. The Anxious Christian

It is so natural to worry. Many of us are very skilled at this task. Life is hectic and crazy and it seems there is always something to worry and stress about. It can be crippling at times. I often find myself lying in bed at night contemplating future woes such as towering student loans, the ever-glowing check engine light on my dashboard, and such extreme far-fetched ideas like "What will I do if I become a parent and totally mess up my kids because I'm bad at it?" or "My husband hasn't called in a while, what if he got into a car accident on the way home!". It's pure insanity but we find the "what if's" so sensible in the moment. We try and see so far into the future that often times we lack the simple ability of experiencing the present. We must acknowledge these maladaptive behaviors and seek peace in the things we cannot change. 

Symptoms: 

• Stressing about things in the future that are unpredictable. 
• Unable to focus on present. 
• Assumes worse case scenario. 
• Worries about things that cannot be helped. 

Solution:

• Practice correcting your hurtful thoughts and refocus them in positivity. 
• Do what you can in the natural and trust God for the supernatural. 
• Pray about everything.
• Let go of what you cannot control and let God. 
• Remind yourself to breathe. It's going to be ok. 

g. 

If you feel that you can relate to the above, please note, you are NOT alone. The church is a place of healing, a place of hope, and a place of understanding. Let us as the body "bear one another burdens" like it says in Galatians 6, and be that person that grasps the outstretched hand of the hurting rather than turning a blind eye to their brokenness. My pastor pointed out in our leadership meeting last evening that "Loving God with all our soul and strength means ministering to people even when it's emotionally draining, inconvenient, and even irritating." But if we are going to be like christ we are called to be there for one another. 

So let us reach out. Both ways. If you are hurting reach out for help and those who able to help reach out to those who are hurting. If we shoulder one another burdens, the load will not be so heavy. 

h. 

a. http://www.riskmanagementmonitor.com/author-dan-gardner-talks-risk-decisions-and-psychology-at-the-2012-rims-canada-conference/

b. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/5a/de/3d/5ade3de2168cc3ab8a10ad4cc07a17d2.jpg

c. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/6d/88/48/6d8848b77330c3daaefd12569de1b440.jpg

d. http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/one-minute-your-posts-are-cussing-people-out-next-minute-youre-quoting-scriptures-can-both-fresh-water-and-salt-water-flow-from-the-same-spring-f6a06.png
e. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/17/e5/17/17e517b3aada737bb5812135651c2753.jpg
f. http://in1.ccio.co/JE/fE/a6/e5cb809701f8d2e6340c2c5d3eff887f.jpg?iw=300
g. http://www.jennifershopeblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/ANXIETY.png
h. https://rogernewberrydotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/01-bearing-one-anothers-burdens4.jpg

6 Sayings I'm Sick of Hearing from Married Couples

In honor of this Sunday being my husband and I's first wedding anniversary I thought I would release a new post. This one is a little feisty... so seat belts everyone! We are taking a quick ride on the soap box express!

As soon as my darling husband Evan proposed in December of 2013, our relationship suddenly became a topic of interest. Everyone and their mother's brother wanted to give us "advice". Some was pleasant and endearing but unfortunately the bulk of these little conversations was blatantly negative. I was shocked by the world's view of marriage. People seemed to focus on the tragedies of marriage rather than the wholesome beauty of the commitment. Furthermore, even in to almost a year of marriage we are still hearing such life-draining advocacy for marriage being a dead end rather than a journey. It's exhausting. So without further adieu... 

Here are 6 Sayings I'm Sick of Hearing from Married Couples

1. "Aww, you're just in the honeymoon stage."

I have heard this saying more times than I can bear in the past 12 months. Anytime Evan and I are being silly and sweet in public someone (mostly strangers) make this comment. We may be newlyweds but the honeymoon lasts as long as you let it. My pastor quoted this past Sunday in service "My wife and I have been married 24 years and we are still on our honeymoon." 

This is how marriage should be. Don't let the fire die after the suitcases are unpacked! Keep adding kindling! 

2. It's all downhill from here!"

Well the best part of the roller coaster is the drop... so I'm game! 

3. "The old ball and chain"

I have heard this phrase several times in T.V. shows, movies, and by people who have been married for a while. I don't know how this quote became so popular but it's rather unpleasant. Marriage is not a cage but an open door! Adventure does not end after the "I do's", but begins! 

4. "The first 6 months are the hardest." (or something to that equivalent).

A week before Evan and I got married a young married couple emphasized to us how hard the first six months were going to be and they "just wanted us to be prepared". As endearing as this is, the fact of the matter is that every relationship is different. Your struggles will not be the same as our struggles. Some couples told us the first year is the hardest, some said the first three years, others said the first three months. It's all different for everyone. More importantly though is how you A) prepare for marriage and B) how you invest in your marriage. Evan and I had a pretty strong base dating for 5 and 1/2 years before we married. We felt pretty confident going in, however there is always that learning curve. We went through some challenges in the beginning as many new couples do. Not anything threatening just normal growing up stuff, like learning how to make a budget for our home and learning each others particular style of doing laundry. I wouldn't consider this a hard season though. It was new, fun, interesting, and exciting.... because we had that positive perspective. We could have just as easily looked at these experiences and stamped them in our memories as difficult. It's all about how you look at it and how you react. I can happily say that our first year of marriage was a blast! I hope the same for others too. 

5. "Don't you wish you had a guy like (insert fictional movie/book character)?" 

The men and women in movies/books are NOT real and they DO NOT depict real life. Indulging in thoughts like these just creates an unrealistic standard that is unfair for us to hold our spouse to. I wouldn't want Evan to hold me to the standard of women on T.V. with their tiny waist, big chest, and flawless skin and hair. So why would I hold him to the standards of the men on these shows. Even reality shows are fake and must be interpreted as such. Let's keep things real. I really love my real husband with all his real flaws and real features. 

6. "But the divorce rate is so high!"

Well frankly I would like the change that statistic. Evan and I made a promise to one another that we were going to stick it out till the end. The "D" word is not allowed in our marriage vocabulary. We don't even make it an option. If something in our marriage gets broken, we're not going to throw it out. We're going to fix it and make it better than it was before. I don't want to be another statistic. Marriage matters people! If other marriages fall apart around me, it will only encourage me to fortify mine. 

The point of all of these ramblings is this: Don't speak negativity. Speak life. What you say can affect people. You have the power to uplift or to destroy. Let your words be an encouragement not a discouragement. Don't even allow yourself to poison someone else's thoughts due to your own bitterness. 

Marriage matters! Monogamy is not unrealistic! Marriage rocks! Let's tell people so! Media portrays marriage as a joke. Let's change societies perceptive of marriage by encouraging each other not discouraging one another. 

#marriagematters 

6 Lessons from the Best Western

I am always amazed at the journey God takes us through when we dedicate our lives to Him. I'm a Psychology major working on my master's degree in Mental Health Counseling and yet have spent almost a year working in the hospitality industry. For whatever reason God led me here and I believe that God speaks to us even in our random experiences. There is always a purpose, So through working at two different Best Western's over the past 11 months here is what I have learned.

1. Trust God
After my husband and I got married this past July we moved back to Springfield, MO so Evan could finish his schooling.  We had a lot of uncertainty of what was needed for him to graduate so we moved in to a sketchy little apartment that operated in a month-by-month lease, registered him for a full load of classes, and then prayed to God that we found jobs ASAP to support all of this. I applied in multiple locations with little luck. I had a variety of experience in the professional world so many businesses were hesitant to hire me due to "over qualification". I was perturbed. I had a fancy four year private college degree and had nothing to do with it other than go to graduate school. Finally after responding to a craigslist ad with great desperation and humility I applied for a position as a housekeeper at a local hotel. I interviewed that afternoon and the manger referred me over to another hotel they were partners with for a front desk position.  The next day I met my wonderful future GM Brandy. She hired me that day and I started working the front desk two days later.
I had never worked the hotel industry before but God's hands were certainly in this. Evan and I had been praying daily for jobs and were beginning to fear that we wouldn't be able to pay rent. Every day I would read scripture with my morning coffee and sure enough God made a way. I truly learned to trust God in all things.

Matthew 10:29-31

29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.[a] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

2. Appreciate the Little Things

My shift at the Best Western Rt, 66 Rail Haven started at 7AM so every morning I drove the short route from my apartment to the hotel. During this time there was always a beautiful sunrise beaming up over the silhouettes of the little town. I have never seen such beautiful sight. I would thank God for the sunrise often and I learned just how important it is to see the little beauties of daily life. Instead of grumbling and complaining about the early hours or that we didn't get enough sleep the night before, I learned to choose to enjoy each morning as God's gift to me. I learned thankfulness. 

Lamentations 3:22-23New International Version (NIV)

22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

3. Listen to the Stories of Others

My GM at the Springfield Best Western taught me a lot about life. I got to know her over the time I was there and she told me different things about her life that inspired me. She was a fearless woman who rose out of a bad situation and provided for her and her son. She started as a housekeeper and worked her way up from there. She is now the General Manger of a beautiful vintage themed hotel. I think it is important to take the time to hear people's stories. Everyone has a story and we can all learn something from one another. We often dehumanize each other and thus we miss out on valuable life lessons due to our own inhibitions. 

I cried in Brandy's office the day I told her I was leaving. Evan was starting a job back home in Florida and we were moving back in two weeks. I had never felt so sad to leave a job. 

4. Hurting People Hurt People

The hotel industry can be frustrating just as many jobs can. I began to get irritated by guests constantly complaining about silly things. One day a woman came up to the front desk at the Best Western in Florida and chewed me out because her lightbulb was out in her room lamp and then proceeded to complain about everything in the hotel. I was so angry I was shaking after she left and my voice wobbled as I called in the maintenance request over the radio. I wanted so badly to tell that woman what was up and give her a taste of her own crudeness. How could anyone be so miserable while on vacation at the beach??? The next day I saw the woman pass by the desk, however she was not alone. She was pushing a young girl in a wheel chair who was hooked up to several tubes and looked very frail. Turns out the girl was the woman's daughter and was dying from a rare form of cancer. I instantly understood the woman's outburst. I remembered a quote my pastor told me once, "hurting people hurt people." Sometimes we must have compassion on those who slander. They may not know how to cope with the pain they are dealing with so they release it on others. I learned to have more compassion and empathy that day. 

Matthew 18:21-22New International Version (NIV)

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[a]

5. Don't Check Out

Many times I found myself just going through life. We often get in a rut where we clock in and out, make the same commute back and forth, and simply try and get through the day. This really isn't the way to live. I found myself totally checked out of life and just getting on with the hum drum of my daily routine. I realized one day that because of this "checked out" state I was missing vital opportunities to learn. grow, and minster to others. Many times God gives us the open doors we pray for, but we don't see them because we are tunnel visioned on getting through to the weekend. 

Ephesians 5:14New International Version (NIV)

14 This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,
    rise from the dead,

    and Christ will shine on you.”

6. Know Your Priorities 

In my career counseling class a few weeks ago we read a short story about a fisherman who would go out everyday and fish for a while, catch a few fish, sell some at the market and take the rest home to his family. Once he had done that he would go home take a siesta with his wife, play with his children, and share a hot meal with his family. One day he meets a  businessman who tries to convince him to grow his fishing business. he explains that he can catch more fish, get more boats, and run a whole fish canning industry. The businessman explains that then the fisherman can then retire and do whatever he wants. The fisherman replies, "I'm already doing exactly what I want. I fish on the lake, I have a siesta with my wife, I play with my children, and enjoy a hot meal with them every evening." 

The fisherman has wisdom that I believe many people turn a blind eye too. We admire the "keeping up with the Jones's" mentality and forget our priorities in the process. I realized in that class that I was reaching for a unrealistic goal and moving away from my true joys in life. I felt very privileged that I had been given a promotion and was working a well-paying manager job, however I was missing several church functions, loosing out on valuable time with my husband and friends, and tearing my hair out with the monstrous stress that comes with the job. I finally reached a breaking point. The lightbulb finally flickered on and I realized... "this is not worth the money." What does it matter about price when the cost is too high? 

Matthew 6:24New International Version (NIV)

24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

So today I clocked out for the last time from the good ol' Bestie Westie. I'm thankful for the time I spent there and for the many interesting things I learned there. It's brilliant the places God takes us. Even when we don't really know why we are in a place, there is purpose for everything. 

Monday I start my new job and a new adventure. My wonderful church hired me on as an administrative assistant and I can't wait. I finally understand the quote "do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life." I am truly, truly blessed!
Thank you everyone for this past season, God Bless you all! 

Dear Future Me on the Worst Day of My Life,

Dear Future Me on the Worst Day of My Life,

Today as I write this things are fine. Today was a normal day full of chores, and stress, and minor inconveniences, just like most days. As I write this I feel fine, things are going good for the most part. However one day I know that I will look back on days like this and think these were the "good days", the "simple times", and long for days just as fine as this one. Because I know that life often dishes out lemons eventually and we are all susceptible to an absolutely horrible, life-shattering, bad day. Many people one day get a phone call, or a doctors report, or witness something that forever marks them, and they are entitled to say that that day, was a bad day. Because that day changed their future, and they can't go back to the way things were before.

I know that one day, possibly sooner than you hope, there will be an awful, horrible, life-shattering day, and you will not be able to go back to the way things were before. I know this because we live in a broken world drenched in sin and bad things can happen to good people. Your faith does not keep you in a bubble so one day you may very well experience this type of day. 

So future me... Current me wants to say a few things before this awful day comes, so when it does come you can read this and remember the truth in the midst of your emotions. For just as C.S. Lewis wrote so cleverly in his book A Grief Observed, " You can't see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears."

So future me on the worse day of your life, here is what you need to know...

God is still good

Today you may want to shake your fist at the sky and cry out to God "why?", but remember that God is still good. God did not make this evil, for scripture tells us in James 1:17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." All good things come from God and all evil comes from the enemy. Remember "
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12. So if you need to point a finger, point it at sin because it is the root of this tragedy. 

It's OK to be Angry

On this terrible day you may be feeling pretty angry/upset right now, that's OK. God created emotions and He understands your feelings. He actually understands how you feel much more than anyone else who has gone through something similar. So it's Ok to feel these emotions. However, it is not OK to act on these emotions in a negligent way. Scripture instructs us"be angry but do not sin...".  Ephesians 4:28. I know you may want to do something to bring justice to this wrong but you do not have that authority nor should you lose your faith over feelings. God will make goodness prevail and deliver justice in His own way: "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord." Romans 12:19.
Instead, forgive. Though this may take time, and God will have to help you go through this journey, forgiveness is the key to the brokenness you feel right now. 

Colossians 3:25

Verse Concepts

For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Justice-Of#sthash.7w3MmReA.dpuf

Colossians 3:25

Verse Concepts

For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Justice-Of#sthash.7w3MmReA.dpuf

There is Hope 

Another reminder is that there is hope for this pain. God takes all our struggles and trials and makes beautiful things out of them. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. Though things feel terrible now, God will use this hurt to make good. A testimony will be born out of this trial and you will be surprised at how God molds this in to a lovely new creation. 

You are Not Alone

Right now you may feel like no one understands, that you are all alone, and no one can pull you out of this heartache. Well the good and beautiful truth is that No, you are not alone. God the creator of the heavens and earth, your devoted father, loves you, sees you, and is with you. Though you may not feel like it, He is there weeping with you, holding you, and keeping you in this trial. Just like Jesus calmed the storm on the boat with his disciples, he will calm this storm in your life. Turn to him, not from him, and embrace his healing powers, and let him carry you through this flood. 
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
Also, God hears your prayers. You are not crying out to a brick wall. Be patient and trust God's plan. 
" This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14



Life is Still Good

 Tomorrow the sun will rise, just as it always does, the day will be new, and you will take another step towards healing. Life is good. You may not trust each fleeting moment, but as time moves forward you will see God's goodness in your life and in this season.
Even Job, who lost everything, was blessed in overflow and rewarded for his suffering. Have faith that God is at work and life will feel "together" again in due time. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11




So future me on the worst day of my life. Hold on. It is going to be OK.This life-shattering day will pass and beautiful flowers will bloom in the ashes of you pain. Don't forget the truths I just told you and keep moving forward. 

With deepest love and empathy,

Me.

http://pitodabest.deviantart.com/art/Psalm-23-poster-design-419119889

 

Crestview, FL: 12 Reasons Why It's The Best Town Around

http://townmapsusa.com/d/map-of-crestview-florida-fl/crestview_fl

I moved to Crestview, Florida when my dad retired from the U.S. Air Force in 2004. I was born at Eglin A.F.B. and we lived there for a few years before moving around with the military. My family always loved the area and decided to move back and find a bit of land in the country. Crestview had the country space and the ideal proximity to Eglin, so it became home. I was in 6th grade and at first detested the small town compared to my former broad living. But over time the town grew on me and after many years as a transitioning military brat, I made Crestview my "hometown". I love it, it's home. I continued to live there up until I graduated from CHS, then I moved to Pensacola, and eventually, Springfield, MO for college. Even though the view isn't my current residence, it's still my home and how I feel about Crestview reflects that of Leslie Knope and Pawnee, Indiana. 

Add caption

For those of you who are unfamiliar with just how great this town is, here are some little tid bits of it's awesomeness you can enjoy...

http://veloknitter.blogspot.com/2009/04/pensacola-to-crestview-fl.html

1. You can go to Walmart and see at least  5 people you know. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walmart

2. A Supportive Military Community

http://www.cbunited.com/ClientImage/HeaderImage/Crestview_bGirgNSygEmJFXkVGvHnaQ.jpg

 

http://paradesacrossamerica.wordpress.com/

 3. We Have Traditions
Like our annual parades, downtown festivals, and you can't forget all the homecoming festivities. 

Photo Credit: Darlene Jones

4. We have the best boiled peanuts you'll ever eat
and nothing goes better with Friday night football at CHS than a hot bag of peanuts. 

5. We Support Local Business

https://plus.google.com/102788107444033607386/about

 

http://wildolive.info/

6. We are close enough to the beach to make a day trip, but far enough away to not have our homes flooded during hurricane season.

 7. We've got great history

http://www.mainstreetcrestview.org/history.html

8. We Support our home team!
Once a bulldog, always a bulldog.

http://www.mainstreetcrestview.org/history.html

 9. We may be in northwest FL, be we are the "southern" part of Florida. 
Hey Ya'll! We got Sweet tea and manners! 

http://everythingneedssalt.com/2013/08/06/5-minute-sweet-tea/

10. We serve our community

11. We've got BIG faith
We love Jesus, yes we do!
 

http://mlpc.org/2012/

12. We band together when there's a need

http://www.ebccrestview.com/cpt_news/prayers-for-drew/

This town may have it's own problems, but it's the best tonw on earth in my opinion. 

http://mainstreetcrestview.org/events.html

I love this town. Idid most of my growing up here, I met my husband here, and my family is here. There is no other place that I'd rather call home than Crestview, Fl. 

 

The Confident Woman

Confidant women are often put down for being too outspoken, too bossy, and too proud. I hate that strong females get associated with the awful "B" word and are often slammed by other females just for being self assured.
This might by tacky but it makes me think of the movie Mean Girls and the scene where Regina, Gretchen, and Karen are all looking at themselves in the mirror verbally criticizing their physical looks. They then all turn and look at Cady, silently encouraging her to join in on their self-hate. Cady folds to peer pressure and responds with "I have really bad breath in the morning". This movie is an obvious satire but makes an interesting point.

 Treating yourself poorly gives you reason to let others treat you poorly. You deserve your own admiration and others should treat you with the same admiration.Ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy?  Well when we label ourselves with terms like "ugly", "stupid", "fat", or anything to that degree we essentially set ourselves up for failure. Psychologist Frank Tannenbaum, the father of Labeling Theory expresses how we eventually believe the lies we tell ourselves and live up to the potential of the words we label ourselves with. Women particularly are very good at this game. We look in the mirror and say things like "uhg... I look like crap today" or "I could never do that, I'm just not good enough." Ladies!!! STOP IT!!!!

 A Confident woman builds herself up and encourages others.

She does not harass her reflection and  put down others. If you are one of these women (which there are many, you're not alone), then I want you to look yourself in the mirror every day and tell yourself how valuable you are, how strong you are, and how uniquely beautiful you are. 

This labeling affect will actually work in positive ways. See, if you do it everyday then you will believe it and you will rise up to your  own potential. You will realize that you are valuable, strong, and beautiful.

 Another problem with women who down themselves is that they don't treat themselves well and like I said before. If you don't respect yourself than how can you expect others to respect you. When we don't respect ourselves we don't take care of our self. We let our image become our security blanket and we hide behind  a sloppy appearance in hopes that others won't notice our flaws. We don't allow ourselves to wear cute new heels and popping lipstick because then that would be to forward. We don't delight ourselves in the occasional cupcake for fear of the calories. We don't look in to that nursing program because we might not be smart enough. And we certainly don't walk with our shoulders back and chin high because we fear the stares of strangers on the street. Well let me tell you ladies...

A confident woman treats herself the way she deserves to be treated. 

Also, don't just hook up with guys because he might leave you either. You are not just a body, but a being with a soul and emotions. Giving yourself away doesn't earn respect and dressing less doesn't make you sexy. A confident woman doesn't need her cleavage to make a man love and respect her. A real woman gives respect and earns it through her mind and her beautiful heart. Remember if you act like trash then you'll only attract pigs. If you want a prince than act like a princess. 

Also just so you know, you don't need a guy to make you a complete woman. Don't get me wrong love and relationships are wonderful but not having a guy doesn't make you any less of a woman. Enjoy your singularity and seize each day with the knowledge that you've got no strings attached and can conquer the world! Go for it girl!

 

Now for those of you who are in relationship I'm sure you can relate to what I'm about to express...
My husband and I dated for several years before we got married and throughout the years I've heard phrases from other guys such as "you better get your woman in line" or stupefied  kitchen jokes. My husband and I have an awesome marriage and each have our own set of skills and strengths that we bring to our relationship. Mine just happens to be organization and a "go-getter" attitude. Some guys see this as being dominant and controlling. Let me get something clear...

Being a submissive wife can include being a confidant woman with great determination.

My husband is the head of our household spiritually and leadership-wise and I respect his role in our family. This doesn't mean I don't have a voice and this also doesn't mean I can't motivate our direction. Evan is very much a "chill guy" and sometimes he acknowledges that he needs me to move him forward every now and then. Some people would call me bossy, but as we see it. I'm his biggest cheerleader. I want my husband to pursue his dreams and succeed. If I didn't care about him than I would never push him forward. I then continue motivating by cheering him on every step of the way.

Another awesome thing about the confidant woman is that she doesn't settle for mediocre. She evaluates her life and goes after her own goals and dreams too. Women are super heroes! We can maintain our home, pursue a career, mother our children, and seek new opportunities with great endurance. We have that capability and yet so many of us just settle for the norm and insist we can never do more. 

A confidant woman has dreams and chases them. 

If you never believe than you'll never achieve. Yes that sounds cheesy but it's the truth. Don't let others discourage you. You aspirations are just as important as others and real man will value that and support your dreams. 

A problem with stereotypical women today is that we're mean. Don't stoop to the levels of little women by getting caught up in hurtful gossip, back stabbing, and grudges. Women are notorious for being catty and fake. 

Rise above the petty and be a confident woman not a tantrum-throwing little girl.

Don't be steam rolled by others by allowing others pious comments to seep in to your psyche. Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep. We don't throw stones because someone threw sticks.We shake off the dirt and keep walking forward. Getting even doesn't say "I'm classy" it says "I'm simple." ladies you are better than that and you should realize it's not necessary. 

Now when someone does give you a compliment, a confident woman graciously says "thank you"and does not reply with denial. I don't understand why we assume that we must weaken someones admiration with a refusal in order to appear humble. Accepting a compliment does not make you prideful,  and confidence is not parallel with egotism.

Another problem of the female race is that we constantly covet other people's lives and waste years chasing after unrealistic expectations. 

 A confident woman does not compare herself to others but betters herself through intrinsic motivation. 

 She sets standards for herself that are practical and beneficial. Now when she does fail at something, she doesn't fall apart. She picks herself up, laughs about it, and keeps pushing on.
She does not envy the prosperity of others but finds fulfillment in her own life. She cherishes the day and the blessings she has. She finds good moments in everything and does not pine for the things of tomorrow all the time.  

So in all of this being said, I firmly believe that every woman should aspire to be self-secure, stop hating on them self, and walk in the knowledge that they are wonderful, valuable person. 
Stop hiding, stop making excuses, and stop whining about your life and let your true self shine! I'm tired of seeing sheepish women who run from the world. Be strong, be courageous, but most of all try and cultivate in yourself a sense of confidence. Because confident women are awesome!