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I got married to the love of my life on Saturday, July 19 2014. We had been waiting for this day for almost 5 1/2 years. We had been exclusively dating since 2009 and couldn't be more ecstatic for the next step!
The day was rainy, but perfect, and even though there were a few "hiccups" (ex. Evan forgot my wedding band and an usher had to rush to go get it 15 min before the ceremony began.) the day was still absolute bliss.
Evan and I had done our premarital counseling and had even gone to a weekend seminar for engaged couples, but come to find out there is still so much to learn in those first few precious weeks of matrimony. So here are some thoughts from me to you, on my experience in my first moth of marriage.
1. I still don't know everything about my husband...
Evan and I dated for over 5 years and I though for sure I knew all there was to know about him. I was under the impression that i had him down pat, and thus the first year of marriage was going to be a breeze. Forget what everyone else says!
I do know a lot about Evan, but in all truth I learned, that there is still a lot to know. For example, he has little pet peeves about clearing the microwave time after use, and he likes his popcorn brand and nothing else. These aren't HUGE things but they matter to him, and it took us living together in marriage for me to learn them.
These are just a few things about him I've learned thus far, and it seems there is still more to learn. He will change throughout the years too, and I will just keep learning more and more about my "hubby". I love this about him though. I want to keep learning more about/from him all the days of my life.
2. Communication really is important...
I noticed this one quickly after our first week together. We had been through some rough patches before our marriage, but we were now seeing each other in a much brighter light. Before marriage if I was mad, I could just go home, or hang up the phone to cool down. Now we live together and thus must take the situation head on and deal with it.
Also I realized that I have to be more communicative in all other areas too. I'm not just living my own life anymore, I have to be considerate of my husband's life too and sharing little tid bits, like where I'm at when I'm not at home, or what plans I might like to have for my weekend, should be shared and are important.
3. The Walls Come Down... but it takes time to adjust
My husband and I waited for marriage to be intimate. It was difficult but we made that promise to one another and we stuck to it. So as the wedding night approached I was ecstatic. I couldn't wait to let all the walls come down and to have all the freedom that comes with marriage. I thought for sure that it would be like a switch that gets flipped and then we would be on this whole new level and it would just be amazing and perfect.
Well is was amazing and perfect in a sense...but just because we waited doesn't mean I would all the sudden come out of a cage as a crazy sexual tiger. Good love making takes time, and it takes two people who are committed to one another through marriage to work together in getting to know one another to make great sex. But the great part about all of this is that we get to practice and get better together, and we get to share this fun adventure together.
4. Our Vows Became Real
As our wedding day is over 30 days behind us and are now in our own little place and have a busy schedule I've realized that we still have to make our vows important. We have experienced a few difficult days already and there are still many to come. But we said "until death do us part" and we meant it. So we have to make a conscious effort to keep adding meaning to those words. I don't want our vows to become a memory but I want them to be active and alive in our day to day functioning of our marriage. I want to love him in sickness and in health, when we poor just as when we are rich, and to honor and uphold him through the hard times. But to do so, I must be intentional about it. Just like your faith, your marriage will suffer if you become complacent about it. I am still coming down from the hype of honeymoon, but I am learning to be persistent in keeping my marriage alive and thriving through the many, many years ahead of us.
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