Dear Future Me on the Worst Day of My Life,

Dear Future Me on the Worst Day of My Life,

Today as I write this things are fine. Today was a normal day full of chores, and stress, and minor inconveniences, just like most days. As I write this I feel fine, things are going good for the most part. However one day I know that I will look back on days like this and think these were the "good days", the "simple times", and long for days just as fine as this one. Because I know that life often dishes out lemons eventually and we are all susceptible to an absolutely horrible, life-shattering, bad day. Many people one day get a phone call, or a doctors report, or witness something that forever marks them, and they are entitled to say that that day, was a bad day. Because that day changed their future, and they can't go back to the way things were before.

I know that one day, possibly sooner than you hope, there will be an awful, horrible, life-shattering day, and you will not be able to go back to the way things were before. I know this because we live in a broken world drenched in sin and bad things can happen to good people. Your faith does not keep you in a bubble so one day you may very well experience this type of day. 

So future me... Current me wants to say a few things before this awful day comes, so when it does come you can read this and remember the truth in the midst of your emotions. For just as C.S. Lewis wrote so cleverly in his book A Grief Observed, " You can't see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears."

So future me on the worse day of your life, here is what you need to know...

God is still good

Today you may want to shake your fist at the sky and cry out to God "why?", but remember that God is still good. God did not make this evil, for scripture tells us in James 1:17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." All good things come from God and all evil comes from the enemy. Remember "
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12. So if you need to point a finger, point it at sin because it is the root of this tragedy. 

It's OK to be Angry

On this terrible day you may be feeling pretty angry/upset right now, that's OK. God created emotions and He understands your feelings. He actually understands how you feel much more than anyone else who has gone through something similar. So it's Ok to feel these emotions. However, it is not OK to act on these emotions in a negligent way. Scripture instructs us"be angry but do not sin...".  Ephesians 4:28. I know you may want to do something to bring justice to this wrong but you do not have that authority nor should you lose your faith over feelings. God will make goodness prevail and deliver justice in His own way: "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord." Romans 12:19.
Instead, forgive. Though this may take time, and God will have to help you go through this journey, forgiveness is the key to the brokenness you feel right now. 

Colossians 3:25

Verse Concepts

For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Justice-Of#sthash.7w3MmReA.dpuf

Colossians 3:25

Verse Concepts

For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Justice-Of#sthash.7w3MmReA.dpuf

There is Hope 

Another reminder is that there is hope for this pain. God takes all our struggles and trials and makes beautiful things out of them. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. Though things feel terrible now, God will use this hurt to make good. A testimony will be born out of this trial and you will be surprised at how God molds this in to a lovely new creation. 

You are Not Alone

Right now you may feel like no one understands, that you are all alone, and no one can pull you out of this heartache. Well the good and beautiful truth is that No, you are not alone. God the creator of the heavens and earth, your devoted father, loves you, sees you, and is with you. Though you may not feel like it, He is there weeping with you, holding you, and keeping you in this trial. Just like Jesus calmed the storm on the boat with his disciples, he will calm this storm in your life. Turn to him, not from him, and embrace his healing powers, and let him carry you through this flood. 
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
Also, God hears your prayers. You are not crying out to a brick wall. Be patient and trust God's plan. 
" This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14



Life is Still Good

 Tomorrow the sun will rise, just as it always does, the day will be new, and you will take another step towards healing. Life is good. You may not trust each fleeting moment, but as time moves forward you will see God's goodness in your life and in this season.
Even Job, who lost everything, was blessed in overflow and rewarded for his suffering. Have faith that God is at work and life will feel "together" again in due time. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11




So future me on the worst day of my life. Hold on. It is going to be OK.This life-shattering day will pass and beautiful flowers will bloom in the ashes of you pain. Don't forget the truths I just told you and keep moving forward. 

With deepest love and empathy,

Me.

http://pitodabest.deviantart.com/art/Psalm-23-poster-design-419119889

 

Crestview, FL: 12 Reasons Why It's The Best Town Around

http://townmapsusa.com/d/map-of-crestview-florida-fl/crestview_fl

I moved to Crestview, Florida when my dad retired from the U.S. Air Force in 2004. I was born at Eglin A.F.B. and we lived there for a few years before moving around with the military. My family always loved the area and decided to move back and find a bit of land in the country. Crestview had the country space and the ideal proximity to Eglin, so it became home. I was in 6th grade and at first detested the small town compared to my former broad living. But over time the town grew on me and after many years as a transitioning military brat, I made Crestview my "hometown". I love it, it's home. I continued to live there up until I graduated from CHS, then I moved to Pensacola, and eventually, Springfield, MO for college. Even though the view isn't my current residence, it's still my home and how I feel about Crestview reflects that of Leslie Knope and Pawnee, Indiana. 

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For those of you who are unfamiliar with just how great this town is, here are some little tid bits of it's awesomeness you can enjoy...

http://veloknitter.blogspot.com/2009/04/pensacola-to-crestview-fl.html

1. You can go to Walmart and see at least  5 people you know. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walmart

2. A Supportive Military Community

http://www.cbunited.com/ClientImage/HeaderImage/Crestview_bGirgNSygEmJFXkVGvHnaQ.jpg

 

http://paradesacrossamerica.wordpress.com/

 3. We Have Traditions
Like our annual parades, downtown festivals, and you can't forget all the homecoming festivities. 

Photo Credit: Darlene Jones

4. We have the best boiled peanuts you'll ever eat
and nothing goes better with Friday night football at CHS than a hot bag of peanuts. 

5. We Support Local Business

https://plus.google.com/102788107444033607386/about

 

http://wildolive.info/

6. We are close enough to the beach to make a day trip, but far enough away to not have our homes flooded during hurricane season.

 7. We've got great history

http://www.mainstreetcrestview.org/history.html

8. We Support our home team!
Once a bulldog, always a bulldog.

http://www.mainstreetcrestview.org/history.html

 9. We may be in northwest FL, be we are the "southern" part of Florida. 
Hey Ya'll! We got Sweet tea and manners! 

http://everythingneedssalt.com/2013/08/06/5-minute-sweet-tea/

10. We serve our community

11. We've got BIG faith
We love Jesus, yes we do!
 

http://mlpc.org/2012/

12. We band together when there's a need

http://www.ebccrestview.com/cpt_news/prayers-for-drew/

This town may have it's own problems, but it's the best tonw on earth in my opinion. 

http://mainstreetcrestview.org/events.html

I love this town. Idid most of my growing up here, I met my husband here, and my family is here. There is no other place that I'd rather call home than Crestview, Fl. 

 

The Confident Woman

Confidant women are often put down for being too outspoken, too bossy, and too proud. I hate that strong females get associated with the awful "B" word and are often slammed by other females just for being self assured.
This might by tacky but it makes me think of the movie Mean Girls and the scene where Regina, Gretchen, and Karen are all looking at themselves in the mirror verbally criticizing their physical looks. They then all turn and look at Cady, silently encouraging her to join in on their self-hate. Cady folds to peer pressure and responds with "I have really bad breath in the morning". This movie is an obvious satire but makes an interesting point.

 Treating yourself poorly gives you reason to let others treat you poorly. You deserve your own admiration and others should treat you with the same admiration.Ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy?  Well when we label ourselves with terms like "ugly", "stupid", "fat", or anything to that degree we essentially set ourselves up for failure. Psychologist Frank Tannenbaum, the father of Labeling Theory expresses how we eventually believe the lies we tell ourselves and live up to the potential of the words we label ourselves with. Women particularly are very good at this game. We look in the mirror and say things like "uhg... I look like crap today" or "I could never do that, I'm just not good enough." Ladies!!! STOP IT!!!!

 A Confident woman builds herself up and encourages others.

She does not harass her reflection and  put down others. If you are one of these women (which there are many, you're not alone), then I want you to look yourself in the mirror every day and tell yourself how valuable you are, how strong you are, and how uniquely beautiful you are. 

This labeling affect will actually work in positive ways. See, if you do it everyday then you will believe it and you will rise up to your  own potential. You will realize that you are valuable, strong, and beautiful.

 Another problem with women who down themselves is that they don't treat themselves well and like I said before. If you don't respect yourself than how can you expect others to respect you. When we don't respect ourselves we don't take care of our self. We let our image become our security blanket and we hide behind  a sloppy appearance in hopes that others won't notice our flaws. We don't allow ourselves to wear cute new heels and popping lipstick because then that would be to forward. We don't delight ourselves in the occasional cupcake for fear of the calories. We don't look in to that nursing program because we might not be smart enough. And we certainly don't walk with our shoulders back and chin high because we fear the stares of strangers on the street. Well let me tell you ladies...

A confident woman treats herself the way she deserves to be treated. 

Also, don't just hook up with guys because he might leave you either. You are not just a body, but a being with a soul and emotions. Giving yourself away doesn't earn respect and dressing less doesn't make you sexy. A confident woman doesn't need her cleavage to make a man love and respect her. A real woman gives respect and earns it through her mind and her beautiful heart. Remember if you act like trash then you'll only attract pigs. If you want a prince than act like a princess. 

Also just so you know, you don't need a guy to make you a complete woman. Don't get me wrong love and relationships are wonderful but not having a guy doesn't make you any less of a woman. Enjoy your singularity and seize each day with the knowledge that you've got no strings attached and can conquer the world! Go for it girl!

 

Now for those of you who are in relationship I'm sure you can relate to what I'm about to express...
My husband and I dated for several years before we got married and throughout the years I've heard phrases from other guys such as "you better get your woman in line" or stupefied  kitchen jokes. My husband and I have an awesome marriage and each have our own set of skills and strengths that we bring to our relationship. Mine just happens to be organization and a "go-getter" attitude. Some guys see this as being dominant and controlling. Let me get something clear...

Being a submissive wife can include being a confidant woman with great determination.

My husband is the head of our household spiritually and leadership-wise and I respect his role in our family. This doesn't mean I don't have a voice and this also doesn't mean I can't motivate our direction. Evan is very much a "chill guy" and sometimes he acknowledges that he needs me to move him forward every now and then. Some people would call me bossy, but as we see it. I'm his biggest cheerleader. I want my husband to pursue his dreams and succeed. If I didn't care about him than I would never push him forward. I then continue motivating by cheering him on every step of the way.

Another awesome thing about the confidant woman is that she doesn't settle for mediocre. She evaluates her life and goes after her own goals and dreams too. Women are super heroes! We can maintain our home, pursue a career, mother our children, and seek new opportunities with great endurance. We have that capability and yet so many of us just settle for the norm and insist we can never do more. 

A confidant woman has dreams and chases them. 

If you never believe than you'll never achieve. Yes that sounds cheesy but it's the truth. Don't let others discourage you. You aspirations are just as important as others and real man will value that and support your dreams. 

A problem with stereotypical women today is that we're mean. Don't stoop to the levels of little women by getting caught up in hurtful gossip, back stabbing, and grudges. Women are notorious for being catty and fake. 

Rise above the petty and be a confident woman not a tantrum-throwing little girl.

Don't be steam rolled by others by allowing others pious comments to seep in to your psyche. Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep. We don't throw stones because someone threw sticks.We shake off the dirt and keep walking forward. Getting even doesn't say "I'm classy" it says "I'm simple." ladies you are better than that and you should realize it's not necessary. 

Now when someone does give you a compliment, a confident woman graciously says "thank you"and does not reply with denial. I don't understand why we assume that we must weaken someones admiration with a refusal in order to appear humble. Accepting a compliment does not make you prideful,  and confidence is not parallel with egotism.

Another problem of the female race is that we constantly covet other people's lives and waste years chasing after unrealistic expectations. 

 A confident woman does not compare herself to others but betters herself through intrinsic motivation. 

 She sets standards for herself that are practical and beneficial. Now when she does fail at something, she doesn't fall apart. She picks herself up, laughs about it, and keeps pushing on.
She does not envy the prosperity of others but finds fulfillment in her own life. She cherishes the day and the blessings she has. She finds good moments in everything and does not pine for the things of tomorrow all the time.  

So in all of this being said, I firmly believe that every woman should aspire to be self-secure, stop hating on them self, and walk in the knowledge that they are wonderful, valuable person. 
Stop hiding, stop making excuses, and stop whining about your life and let your true self shine! I'm tired of seeing sheepish women who run from the world. Be strong, be courageous, but most of all try and cultivate in yourself a sense of confidence. Because confident women are awesome!