The Confident Woman

Confidant women are often put down for being too outspoken, too bossy, and too proud. I hate that strong females get associated with the awful "B" word and are often slammed by other females just for being self assured.
This might by tacky but it makes me think of the movie Mean Girls and the scene where Regina, Gretchen, and Karen are all looking at themselves in the mirror verbally criticizing their physical looks. They then all turn and look at Cady, silently encouraging her to join in on their self-hate. Cady folds to peer pressure and responds with "I have really bad breath in the morning". This movie is an obvious satire but makes an interesting point.

 Treating yourself poorly gives you reason to let others treat you poorly. You deserve your own admiration and others should treat you with the same admiration.Ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy?  Well when we label ourselves with terms like "ugly", "stupid", "fat", or anything to that degree we essentially set ourselves up for failure. Psychologist Frank Tannenbaum, the father of Labeling Theory expresses how we eventually believe the lies we tell ourselves and live up to the potential of the words we label ourselves with. Women particularly are very good at this game. We look in the mirror and say things like "uhg... I look like crap today" or "I could never do that, I'm just not good enough." Ladies!!! STOP IT!!!!

 A Confident woman builds herself up and encourages others.

She does not harass her reflection and  put down others. If you are one of these women (which there are many, you're not alone), then I want you to look yourself in the mirror every day and tell yourself how valuable you are, how strong you are, and how uniquely beautiful you are. 

This labeling affect will actually work in positive ways. See, if you do it everyday then you will believe it and you will rise up to your  own potential. You will realize that you are valuable, strong, and beautiful.

 Another problem with women who down themselves is that they don't treat themselves well and like I said before. If you don't respect yourself than how can you expect others to respect you. When we don't respect ourselves we don't take care of our self. We let our image become our security blanket and we hide behind  a sloppy appearance in hopes that others won't notice our flaws. We don't allow ourselves to wear cute new heels and popping lipstick because then that would be to forward. We don't delight ourselves in the occasional cupcake for fear of the calories. We don't look in to that nursing program because we might not be smart enough. And we certainly don't walk with our shoulders back and chin high because we fear the stares of strangers on the street. Well let me tell you ladies...

A confident woman treats herself the way she deserves to be treated. 

Also, don't just hook up with guys because he might leave you either. You are not just a body, but a being with a soul and emotions. Giving yourself away doesn't earn respect and dressing less doesn't make you sexy. A confident woman doesn't need her cleavage to make a man love and respect her. A real woman gives respect and earns it through her mind and her beautiful heart. Remember if you act like trash then you'll only attract pigs. If you want a prince than act like a princess. 

Also just so you know, you don't need a guy to make you a complete woman. Don't get me wrong love and relationships are wonderful but not having a guy doesn't make you any less of a woman. Enjoy your singularity and seize each day with the knowledge that you've got no strings attached and can conquer the world! Go for it girl!

 

Now for those of you who are in relationship I'm sure you can relate to what I'm about to express...
My husband and I dated for several years before we got married and throughout the years I've heard phrases from other guys such as "you better get your woman in line" or stupefied  kitchen jokes. My husband and I have an awesome marriage and each have our own set of skills and strengths that we bring to our relationship. Mine just happens to be organization and a "go-getter" attitude. Some guys see this as being dominant and controlling. Let me get something clear...

Being a submissive wife can include being a confidant woman with great determination.

My husband is the head of our household spiritually and leadership-wise and I respect his role in our family. This doesn't mean I don't have a voice and this also doesn't mean I can't motivate our direction. Evan is very much a "chill guy" and sometimes he acknowledges that he needs me to move him forward every now and then. Some people would call me bossy, but as we see it. I'm his biggest cheerleader. I want my husband to pursue his dreams and succeed. If I didn't care about him than I would never push him forward. I then continue motivating by cheering him on every step of the way.

Another awesome thing about the confidant woman is that she doesn't settle for mediocre. She evaluates her life and goes after her own goals and dreams too. Women are super heroes! We can maintain our home, pursue a career, mother our children, and seek new opportunities with great endurance. We have that capability and yet so many of us just settle for the norm and insist we can never do more. 

A confidant woman has dreams and chases them. 

If you never believe than you'll never achieve. Yes that sounds cheesy but it's the truth. Don't let others discourage you. You aspirations are just as important as others and real man will value that and support your dreams. 

A problem with stereotypical women today is that we're mean. Don't stoop to the levels of little women by getting caught up in hurtful gossip, back stabbing, and grudges. Women are notorious for being catty and fake. 

Rise above the petty and be a confident woman not a tantrum-throwing little girl.

Don't be steam rolled by others by allowing others pious comments to seep in to your psyche. Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep. We don't throw stones because someone threw sticks.We shake off the dirt and keep walking forward. Getting even doesn't say "I'm classy" it says "I'm simple." ladies you are better than that and you should realize it's not necessary. 

Now when someone does give you a compliment, a confident woman graciously says "thank you"and does not reply with denial. I don't understand why we assume that we must weaken someones admiration with a refusal in order to appear humble. Accepting a compliment does not make you prideful,  and confidence is not parallel with egotism.

Another problem of the female race is that we constantly covet other people's lives and waste years chasing after unrealistic expectations. 

 A confident woman does not compare herself to others but betters herself through intrinsic motivation. 

 She sets standards for herself that are practical and beneficial. Now when she does fail at something, she doesn't fall apart. She picks herself up, laughs about it, and keeps pushing on.
She does not envy the prosperity of others but finds fulfillment in her own life. She cherishes the day and the blessings she has. She finds good moments in everything and does not pine for the things of tomorrow all the time.  

So in all of this being said, I firmly believe that every woman should aspire to be self-secure, stop hating on them self, and walk in the knowledge that they are wonderful, valuable person. 
Stop hiding, stop making excuses, and stop whining about your life and let your true self shine! I'm tired of seeing sheepish women who run from the world. Be strong, be courageous, but most of all try and cultivate in yourself a sense of confidence. Because confident women are awesome!